6 September 2025

bountymouse88
Sep 10
7 min read

Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI

Division 3: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:

Sprig + Fern Tahuna 4th XI

Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Breakers Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters

1st XI 1-1 (1-3 AET) FC Nelson - Price Charity Cup Final

Location: Guppy Park

Goals: Seth Watson

Match MVP: 🏆 Price Charity Cup Final 🏆

Full Time: Tahuna 1–1 FC Nelson

Extra Time: Tahuna 1–3 FC Nelson

Absolutely gutted.

The chance to lift silverware and crown one hell of a season had the Tahuna boys fired up like Joe before a costume party. Club pride on the line, last sweaty balls together in 2025 — it was all there.

Before kickoff, we huddled in the sheds for one final reflection. Lads looking around the room, remembering the season, the grind, the laughs, the injuries, the pints. Not a dry eye in sight. (Apart from Joe, who swears he just had sunscreen in his eye).

The Walkout:

The only thing missing was the Champions League anthem. Led out by Nelson Head referee Maurice. The teams marched onto Guppy Park. And what a sight — the eastern bank packed with the Tahuna Ultras: blue jumpsuits, handmade signs, dog toys, and enough noise to make the neighbours file complaints. We love you all. 💙

The First Half:

We won the toss, had the wind, and the fans at our backs. The midfield trio — Luc, Ethan, and Kieran — turned the centre into a no-go zone. FC Nelson couldn’t find a way through.

Then out of nowhere… chaos. A hopeful Tahuna attack a panicked FC clearance, and Seth charging like a Salmon possessed. The keeper’s attempted ball launch met Seth’s chest (don’t worry, chest hair cushioned the blow), the ball rebounded, and suddenly — GOAL! The underdogs were up 1-0. Bedlam. Sideline heroes losing their voices, teammates hugging whoever they could grab. How good did that feel?!?! (Hey, it’s me, Seth. It felt pretty damn good).

75 minutes still to play and 75 minutes to keep the dogs out. Only a couple missed chances from Tahuna as Seth glanced a header towards the net but landing in the keepers gloves and Kieran had a breakaway that was again saved. The real action was from the Tahuna defence!

Defensively, we were warriors. James and Franco throwing themselves in front of everything, Joe pulling off saves like he had glue on his gloves, Sobi leaving bits of his shin (and nose) on the turf. At halftime, still 1-0.

Second Half:

New legs on — Dan Smith and Harry joining after already playing big minutes for the 2nds. Absolute lunatics. Jamie saved his tightening calf for his first Father’s Day. With the wind in our faces, FC piled on free kicks like they were trying to clear the neighbouring suburbs.

Disaster struck: a stolen attack, a bobbling ball, and an unlucky deflection. 1-1. Hearts sank. Calves cramped. Bums squeaked and James sent a ball to Trafalgar park! Extra time again — because apparently we like to suffer.

Extra Time:

Bodies broken, hammies tighter than Ethan’s old man’s wallet. Dan nearly nicked it but their keeper pulled out a miracle. Then came the red card — one of ours deciding to try out some “advanced English vocabulary.” Down to 10 men. Still we held on.

Second half of extra time — seven good legs left Defend. Defend. Defend. But eventually, the dam burst. FC scored twice, and the dream ended. 3-1. Broken hearts, shattered dreams. And $175 worth of cards..

Sorry Tahuna We almost had them. We’ll be back. We’ll bring more noise. We’ll find more strangers at the pub who’ll become Tahuna brothers. What a ride. You glorious bastards.

Man of the Match: James or Joe — take your pick. Both legends.

An Ode to the Tahuna 1st Div Lads

Joe — our rock in goal. Saves, leadership, First Kicks organiser, team glue. Hug this man.

Mateo — passion personified. Two-footed challenges, machine-gun celebrations, and a PhD in shithousery.

Franco — greets me every Saturday with “How are you, darling?” Then proceeds to crunch strikers. Gentleman and enforcer.

James Owen — My boss, our battering ram. Slide tackles so clean you could eat off them. A true friend xx

Jonny — ran himself sick. Literally. Vomited for the cause. Also your go-to man if you need a van.

Sobi — congrats on the 3rd div win. First touch in 1st div: bicycle kick from halfway. Madness.

Jamie Floyd — new dad, calm, reliable, class. Baby’s first words will probably be “man on.”

Luc — silky left foot, quiet assassin. Welcome to Tahuna.

Ethan — slowest to get ready, fastest to start. We’re buzzing to have you back.

Kieran — our Temu Foden. Covers more ground than a postie on overtime. Get that goal soon, lad.

Seth (me) — the most unlikely striker, somehow Golden Boot. This club means the world to me.

Danny — best season I’ve ever seen from you. That goal lives rent-free in my head.

Stan — cult hero. Throw-ins longer than I can kick.

Macca — kept us together when we needed it most. We still play for you.

Nick — bandana-wearing baller, provider of dimes. Pint’s on me.

To everyone who’s pulled on the shirt — this season was for you.

Win or lose — we’re on the booze. 🍻 Match report by

2nd XI 0-1 Suburbs 3rd XI - Gould N Tout Trophy

Location: Neale Park S3

Goals:

Match MVP:

Thats a wrap! Last game of the season saw us take on Nelson Suburbs in the cup final.

With the whole team up for the challenge it was clear that this one would be a close game.

Suburbs came at us right from the first whistle and had us on the back foot for the first 20mins. Danny Hampton kept the chances on goal to a minimum however, with some last ditch tackles in the box keeping us well in the game.

We worked back into it over the back end of the first half to apply some pressure of our own and slowly shift the momentum or way.

After half time the boys came out firing, running into the wind helped to make us keep the ball down and play some football.

The chances were there but just wouldn't go, as several shots were saved off the goal line.

In the end it was a classic long ball over the top where the suburbs striker showed exceptional pace to out run our defence and slot home for 1-0.

The boys never gave up and had plenty of chances to get back in it, but sadly it wasn't meant to be this time.

Not how we wanted to end the year but it doesn't take away from the great season we had as a group or the effort that went into it from the entire squad.

A well earned curry night followed to close out the year.

Service started of a bit sluggish for the boys up front

The kingfishers took a while to come out. So a tactical change was needed the gaffa introduced the new import tequila to bring some life into the game.

Soon enough the boys were alive finishing the first half strong with a mixed platter.

Half time poppadom's were needed. The boys tactics were on point with the rice and madras.

Naan of the match goes to the Uber driver

Match report by Munday & Samantha

3rd XI No game

Location: Goals:

Match MVP:

Match report by

4th XI -

Location: Tahunanui S2

Goals:

Match MVP:

Match report by .

TFC Breakers 4-1 FC Nelson (30 August Match)

Location: Victory Square

Goals: Ruby 3, Arin

Match MVP: Rebecca Beer As I look back on our final game of the 2025 season, I couldn’t be prouder of the Tahuna Breakers. There was a real sense of excitement in the air, and yes, a bit of emotion too, knowing this was the last time we’d take the field together this year.

Despite a small distraction from my dog before kick-off, the team quickly settled and came out with energy, determination, and smiles. Our goals for the day were simple: enjoy ourselves, celebrate on the field, and finish the season with the same spirit we started it. And you did just that.

Hannah’s corner set Ruby up for a brilliant opener, and from there the momentum never stopped. Ruby’s second goal came out of nowhere, and her hat trick, a dazzling solo run through the middle was pure magic to watch.

Not to be outdone, Arin took a back pass from Ruby and surged down the right wing, curling the ball beautifully into the net. It was the kind of goal that makes you remember why football is such a great game. The first half was a spectacle of teamwork, creativity, and confidence.

Nelson FC didn’t give up and eventually got one past Vi, who had been outstanding all match. But the moment that summed up our Breakers spirit was when Rebecca dropped in behind and put her body on the line to block a shot destined for the open net. That bravery and commitment is exactly why she earned MVP.

I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for an incredible season. Coaching this team has been a real privilege, not just because of the skill and effort you bring to the pitch, but because of the camaraderie, enthusiasm, and joy you bring to everything we do.

You’ve made every training, every game, and every after-match gathering something to look forward to. Our celebrations at the Sprig and Fern have been just as memorable as the football, and they’re a testament to the friendships and fun that hold this team together.

This season wasn’t just about results — it was about spirit, laughter, and playing the game, we love together. Thank you for giving me the chance to be part of it and I look forward to the 2026 season.

Match report by Cris Phelan.