16 August 2025
- bountymouse88
- Aug 20
- 9 min read
Updated: Aug 20
Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI
Division 3: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:
Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Breakers Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters
1st XI 4-3 (AET) FC Richmond AFC - Price Charity Cup
Location: Jubilee S1
Goals: Seth 2, James, Nick
Match MVP: Everyone “There’s nothing better than beating your brother in an arm wrestle… except maybe knocking him out of a semi-final.”
TAHUNA ARE OFF TO WEMBLEY! (Or at least somewhere with changing rooms and a bar.)
It was Cup Semi-Final Day. The Price Charity Cup. And the Tahuna Ladz were well and truly fizzed.
A squad of battlers, held together with Deep Heat, K-Tape and good intentions. Tapped knees, sore bums, Jamie running on negative sleep, and Prez lubing up his gloves for an appearance between the sticks. Glorious chaos.
🏃♂️ FIRST HALF – THE WARM-UP LAP
The game kicked off at full throttle — end-to-end stuff like a FIFA match on cocaine. Both teams had chances, but the scoreboard stayed untouched longer than Jamie’s alarm clock.
Tahuna thought they’d taken the lead when Mateo pinged a Hail Mary over the top, Seth raced in, took a touch, slotted it past the keeper — limbs everywhere... but up goes the flag.
OFFSIDE?! Nah, mate — just fast. VAR would've given it. Probably.
Richmond capitalised on the injustice and hit first, slotting past Prez after some tidy work down the left.
1-0 Richmond.
Moments later: CLANG — the crossbar rattled, and so did Tahuna’s collective soul. But the lads dug in, huffed, puffed, and made it to halftime without further damage.
💥 SECOND HALF – “THIS IS TAHUNA.”
Second half starts. Spirits still high. Knees, not so much.
Then disaster: a long Richmond free-kick sails into the sun and drops perfectly onto a lanky Richmond leg. Boom.
2-0. Not ideal.
Cue the reshuffle. New formation? No — just more yelling, more running, more pride. Tahuna doesn't fold. We fight.
70th minute. Corner. Nick whips in an absolute peach, and Seth, eyes probably closed, rises like a salmon on heat and slaps his head at the ball.
Top bins. 2-1. Game on.
Tahuna start believing. Fans get louder. Backline holds strong. A sweeping move all the way from back to front ends with Seths lunging boot, beats the charging keeper and lifts it into the net.
2-2. Scenes. Tahuna sideline loyals lost it!!
Full-time whistle. Legs gone. Hearts pumping.
EXTRA TIME.
🍌 EXTRA TIME – BANANAS AND BELIEF
Extra time hits different when you're running on fumes and banana slices. Josh somehow played 20 minutes with a broken rib. Half the team cramping. Deep Heat is now a key sponsor.
10 minutes in after more Tahuna full team hustle— Seth gets his foot hacked in the box.
PENALTY!
Up steps James “Old Trafford” Owen — man of many games and many cramps.
Forget bottom corner — boring. James launches a rocket just under the bar. Net bulges. Keeper nowhere.
3-2 Tahuna. Take a bow, sir.
He then immediately goes down with cramp (and maybe for the drama/photo op), so he’s subbed off after his Hollywood moment. In comes Dan to cause problems and chaos.
🔥 THE DAGGER
Nick — still somehow sprinting like it’s minute 5 — tears down the wing. Everyone expects him to take it to the corner. Nah.
One step inside, right boot… curler.
Keeper frozen. Net ripples.
4-2. Absolute pure brilliance from the roaming Bandana.
😱 SQUEAKY BUM TIME
Richmond find a late goal, bundling one past Will.
4-3.
It’s now official: Squeaky Bum Time.
The final few minutes? Pure survival.
The tactic?
“YOU CANT SCORE IF THE BALLS IN THE CARPARK!”
More cramp. More defending. More heroics.
Then…
FULL TIME!!!
Tahuna 4 – 3 Richmond.
Tahuna march on to the Final.
🏆 MAN OF THE MATCH? ALL OF THEM.
Every single player put in a shift for the badge.
From broken ribs to busted balls to heroic headers.
You beautiful, ridiculous bunch of footballing bastards.
We go again.
We go for glory.
We go for the trophy.
We go because we bloody love football.
And we LOVE Tahuna FC.
Match report by Seth Watson.
2nd XI 4-2 FC Nelson Development
Location: Champion Green
Goals: Pedro 2, Ross, Blessings
Match MVP: Pedro
Another home game away from home this week saw us take on the FC Development team at Champion Green.
With the pitch in great nick we were happy turn tirn up and use the ball to do the work. Partly a footballing choice, but mainly owing to age and fitness.
A fairly simple game plan, get it to feet and let the wingers get in behind. Dan did exactly that, as he has done so often this year and the chances were regular. Blessings bagged his goal with a cool finish after dancing around defenders at will, a very deserving goal.
The young ones hit back with a messy one from us before Pedro restored the lead as only he could, finishing calmy with his back to goal and a flick through the legs.
Not much to do for Will in goal, although hed did kick the ball really far once which seemed to make him as happy as he's been all year between the sticks.
2nd half and they came out with some energy which earnt them the equaliser after a mix up at the back. Not our finest moment.
The chances kept coming and eventually Pedro turned provider with a corner, the captain finally stepped forward into the box and got on the end of it with a fantastic header into the side netting. 3-2 became 4-2 shortly after as Pedro killed off the contest with a well placed shot from the edge of the box.
Comfortable in the end but plenty to work on over the next couple of weeks.
Away to Golden bay next week for the last league game of the season.
Match report by James Munday.
3rd XI 3-0 Default Motueka AFC
Location: Goals:
Match MVP:
Match report by.
4th XI 3-4 Motueka 2nd XI
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: Zach, Wayne, Josh
Match MVP: Josh
The 4ths met Motueka down at the train station for another tough game to try and climb the table once again.
Mot came out strong in the first half and quickly opened the scoring and continued the press eventually scoring again, while Tahuna were creating the chances none could meet the back of the net. 45 gone and 2-0 down Tahuna had to hit back.
The second half Tahuna remembered why they were here and brought out the A game, with Zach taking the ball on his chest and hitting it on the way down to soar into the net for a fantastic first goal for the club in 5 years. Mot got 2 more but Tahuna weren’t finished yet with Wayne getting another one. Unfortunately an unclear collision after the ball went out resulted in a broken wrist for 4ths golden boot leader Jonny ending his season early and likely ruining his trip to Rarotonga this week. Continuing play with Jonny off to the hospital a hand ball in the box earned Tahuna a penalty which Josh finished after the keeper got a hand to his initial shot.
The game ended with a 3-4 loss for the 4ths but another performance to be proud of which the scoreline doesn’t reflect. MOTM went to Josh for his amazing work in midfield and creating lots of opportunities.
Match report by Justin.
TFC Breakers 2-0 Richmond AFC Swans
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: Michelle, Sayaka
Match MVP: Ruby The Tahuna Breakers secured a hard-fought 2–0 win over the Richmond Swans on Saturday, overcoming illness and injuries within the squad to deliver a strong team performance in the afternoon sun.
Both teams fielded 12 players, and from the opening whistle it was clear the match would be a physical contest. The Breakers’ defensive unit of Sophie, Shiloh, Ruby, (the sickbay) and the healthy Rebecca stood firm, with goalkeeper Vi showing courage by charging out to deny several dangerous Swans’ attacks and keeping a clean sheet.
The Breakers struck first when Sayaka pounced on a clearance through the middle, outpacing the defense and calmly slotting past the keeper. With the Swans applying pressure in search of an equalizer, tactical changes saw Sayaka and Arin move back into midfield, freeing Michelle and Baily to push forward. The adjustment paid off when Michelle sprinted (Run Forest Run) through and fired home the second goal to double the advantage.
Despite late pressure from the Swans, the Breakers’ determination and resilience ensured the score remained 2–0. The victory was a testament to the squad’s commitment, with players battling through ailments to represent their club and teammates with pride.
Match report by .
TFC Masters 1-1 Suburbs FC Masters
Location: Tahunanui S3
Goals: Kev
Match MVP: Cam
Nelson Suburbs asked Tahuna to arrive early to this week’s game, so they could watch their first team play in the Chatham Cup Semi later that afternoon. So we all rushed down to Tahuna fields for noon only to find, the occasional dog walker and no-one else. Even Cam was early. Feeling like a stood up teenager we played some volleys and headers. Everyone was clearly impressed by the ball control skills of Pete B and Ollie. Cam spent his spare time ringing up directory enquiries to find out Nelson Suburbs number. He consigned that to memory and put Nelson Suburbs in his pocket for the duration of the game.
Paddy was out of the line up today, due to a serious bout of man flu. But Suburbs were equally missing a few of their important players and you could feel the difference this week. The game was really open, like a game of basketball, one end to the other. There wasn’t much whistle stoppages either, apart from Ben’s pirouette thrown in which Taylor cheerfully spotted – pay back for all those teenage groundings. Guy sparkled early on the left wing dashing through to crack a blow towards their goal. I managed to make some in roads on the right but Diego took the mantle further when he came on. A great bit of wing play was whipped across to Tomas who punted a looping header just over the goal. Tomas was served shortly after again when Ed feinted and skinned his way down the right. This time Tomas volleyed the ball with force, doing well to keep the ball down. Their keeper was equal to it. Suburbs had a few strong forays into our box. One of their attackers had the ball a couple of metres from the goal, looking like a certain goal, only for Ollie to pull out a spectacular save to his left.
Early in the second half Suburbs won a corner. Their corner crosses were tricky to contend with all game. This time around, it dropped to a player who took a strike from the edge of the box. The ball went through a forest of legs including a Suburb player who gambled on a back heel which sneaked it past a despairing Pete at the near post. 0-1 Suburbs. That familiar sinking feeling edged its way through our game play. Another corner for Suburbs nearly resulted in a second goal for them. Ben and Ollie did well to repel the ball from our goal line. There was lots of injury whistle stops. Zane took the worst of them twisting his ankle in a goalmouth scramble, sadly limping off shortly after. Cole laid a ball back nicely to me at the edge of the Suburbs box. In hindsight I should have shot with venom but tried to play a cute ball and frustratingly just gave it away. Moments later Ed and me were in the box and I practically stole the ball off Ed to have a left footed shot. The ball was sailing into the top left corner only for their keeper to grab it, at the last. We kept pushing, determined not to lose this game. Diego zipped down the right again and this time put in a cross begging to be scored. Cole swung his leg, and hit thin air. But Kev who was following up behind, calmly passed it into their goal, 1-1. Diego, Tomas and Ed had great runs and shots following, trying to get the winner. Ed ventured into their box at one point only for a cynical soft push to knock him off his balance and the chance of a winning goal. That could easily have been blown as a penalty. But at the other end Cam got out his all-purpose spray and cleaned up whatever threats came drifting our way. Paddy cheered on with covid breath by the beer filled esky. Another game, another man of the match performance from Cam. Watching from the sidelines it was amazing to see how that polished head of his, radar locks onto any balls that cross the halfway line. He’s military standard. Play like this next weekend and surely we lock in second spot?! Up the Huna! Match Report by Peter.
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