11 April 2026
- 4 days ago
- 9 min read
Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI
Division 3: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:
Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Womens XI Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters
1st XI 0-0 Nelson Suburbs FC Reserves
Location: Saxton Field S1
Goals: Izaak Cunningham
Match MVP: Izaak Cunningham An away game to a young Suburbs reserves was always going to be a tricky first game for the Tahuna boys.
We came out of the blocks really well and took the game to the home team creating some great chances through a midfield dominance of Luc, Will and Izaak. Chances fell to Ethan Skinner and the ever energetic Gregor. At one point Tahuna had the ball in the back of the net only to be dubiously ruled off side.
Our experienced back four made sure the Suburbs young boys were restricted to just one opportunity in the first half. Half time 0-0.
With a lack of substitutes, Suburbs began to take the game to Tahuna in the second half but Skipper Matt Jepson, James, IT and Danny Hampton held firm and with some great keeping from Joe, Tahuna were able to keep a very impressive clean sheet. The game ending 0-0
Some great performances through the team, however through his sheer determination to constantly win the ball Izaak Cunningham was the Tahuna MVP. Match report by Dave Turner
2nd XI 5-0 Richmond FC Thistle Reserves
Location: Jubilee Park S1
Goals: Will Mathews 2, Jonny, Dong 2
Match MVP: Blessings
Was a beautiful day in nelson as the slightly new version of the mighty blue army took on newly promoted Richmond thistle.
Spirits were high in the dressing room before the game with a mixture of up and go and watermelon vapes of the new signings mixed in with the sound of ankle strapping and voltaren popping with some of our elder statesmen.
The game kicked of after our champions league walk on befitting such high prestige of both teams was done.
Thistle took the game to Tahuna in the opening five minutes with tahuna taking a moment to gel but after that it was business as usual as will Mathews picked up where he left off last season slotting home two excellent taken goals.
After a couple dogdy throws and a back pass that had will looking like a young Linford Christy Tahuna headed for oranges two nill up at the break. The new lads Markel and Adam giving as a solid spine and Quan and Dong showing the speed of youth.
Second half was more of the same for tahuna making his mark on his debut Dong stepped up with two calmly taken goals and jonny Lewis smashing out some on the spot pythagoras theorem to slot one in from the tightest of angles all sandwiched in between a Man of the Match display from Blessings who played with aggression only seen by Tim Skinner heading towards an after match meal.
Fair play to thistle they never gave in and played some great football, they’ll give lots of teams trouble this season.
With the final minutes looming and on a Hatrick will Mathews calls to the bench that he just hasn’t got anything in the tank and with no other option available a hero steps up ankles held together with hope and a prayer, the gaffer for the day Sam comes on to see the game out and bring the 3 points home.
Match report by Sam Fitz.
3rd XI 4-7 Nelson Suburbs FC 2nd XI
Location: Tahunanui S1 Goals: Wayne, Sayha, Sobi, Luke.
Match MVP: Tom Dunn First game of the season and, true to club tradition, Tahuna 3rds were already deep in their most well-rehearsed tactic: scrambling to assemble a team. The “Tahuna Way” was in full effect—last-minute calls, borrowed shin pads, and at least one bloke who thought kick-off was 30 minutes later than it actually was. We still don’t know why Rhys magically disappeared right before the walk out…
On the sidelines, Diego took charge of our first home game at S1. Despite rocking an arm in a sling, he ruled proceedings with an iron fist—equal parts coach, dictator, and emotional support unit. Nothing got past him… except maybe the physio responsibilities.
Leading the charge was newly appointed captain Will Simpson, stepping into his first game at the helm with confidence, composure, and only mild signs of early-season panic.
The game kicked off with Suburbs immediately putting us under the pump, but Tahuna’s counterattack game was sharper than expected for a team that had only just stepped up into the 2nd Division. Wayne opened the scoring, and before Suburbs could process what had happened, Sayha casually lofted one into the back of the net to make it 2–0. Tahuna were flying… briefly.
Suburbs, slightly rattled but clearly remembering they were quite good at football, regrouped. Leaning heavily on their suspiciously youthful “veterans,” they clawed their way back to 2–2 before halftime.
A formation tweak at the break brought better balance, and Tahuna dug in, shutting down wave after wave of Suburbs pressure. Unfortunately, Suburbs nudged ahead again, only for Sobi to pop up near the net like a man possessed. How he got off the ground between constant bending over, side clutches, and dramatic gasps for oxygen remains a mystery—but as always, the magician delivered. 3–3.
Suburbs struck again. Then Luke, armed with a solid 30 minutes of available fitness, unleashed a quality finish to level things at 4–4. Efficiency at its finest.
At the back, Tom Dunn was having a day out. Freshly equipped with “new dad energy,” he stood tall and made it very clear: “Not in my house, son.” Suburbs probed relentlessly, but Tom wasn’t having a bar of it.
There were moments of real quality from Tahuna, mixed with heavy breathing, questionable tracking back, and communication that ranged from inspirational to barely audible wheezing. It was shaping up to be a classic—goals, chaos, and entertainment for the fans.
And then… the Masters finished their game on S3 and wandered over to watch. We’re not blaming them for what happened, but let the record state that the game was in a draw before they wandered over to support.
In the final 10 minutes, Tahuna’s legs transitioned on the periodic table from lead to something even heavier – I don’t know what, I’m not a chemist. Suburbs, sensing the shift (and possibly feeding off the sideline commentary), capitalised with some sharp pace and tidy finishing despite Tom threatening to put them into Time Out.
Still not overly sure how it happened as vision was blurred with lack of oxygen to vital organs, the match report wont dwell on the particulars, but what you need to know is that the final score was: 4–7 to Suburbs 2nd XI.
A cracking game with both sides enjoying it, no cards against the Tahuna 3rds yet this season (a season best) and a proper welcome to the 2nd Division, congratulations to the Suburbs 2nd XI. Plenty to like, plenty to work on—especially lung capacity—but Tahuna 3rds have arrived and are here to prove they belong.
MVP: Tom 'Daddy' Dunn
Up Up Tahuna
The Best Club in the Club
Match report by Rhys Lightening
4th XI 9-2 Richmond FC Tuskers
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: Keris 2, Adam 3, Zach, Mike, Gabe, Josh
Match MVP: Adam Crichton
A great start to the season with a 9-2 win over Richmonds new team.
With coach Colin unavailable due to surgery Adam took the reins of the team.
The game started 15 minutes late when Richmonds 7th man finally arrived and the impact was instant with Keris putting the ball in the net in the first 30 seconds. Adam followed up 5 minutes later with a second goal giving us a nice early buffer to focus on game management.
Richmonds players slowly trickled in and about 25 minutes in it was a full 11 vs 11. We dominated possession and kept the pressure on which eventually resulted in Jed being fouled in the box and the ref blowing for a penalty, which Adam calmly slotted into the bottom right. Almost immediately after the game restarted Keris doubled his tally to put us 4-0 up.
Zach managed to clear the crossbar from the penalty spot after a corner found his feet. He took the heckle from the ref (Justin) 'take a shot next time' onboard, and his next touch of the ball a few minutes later found the back of the net just before half time.
Half time oranges went down a treat (Josh you're a legend), morale was high and the message was clear. Keep doing what we are doing and the game is ours.
It didn't take long for us to score again with Adam setting up Mike for his first of the season, followed not too long after by new recruit Gabe's first for the club.
Richmond managed to get two goals back in this time but otherwise the defence shut down all attempts at goal. Brad and Sam putting in a solid shift in CB.
The rest of the game was all Tahuna with Josh getting on the score sheet and Adam completing his hat trick on the last 10 minutes.
Full time came around and to say we were exhausted was an understatement. But with 3 points on the table and very few negatives we were happy.
MOTM went to Adam for leading the team by example and scoring a hat trick.
UP UP!
Match report by Zach Wistrand.
TFC Womens XI - BYE
Location:
Goals:
Match MVP:
Match report by
TFC Masters - Richmond FC Bogans Masters
Location: Tahunanui s3
Goals: Nick 2, Cunny 2
Match MVP: Cunny
Tahuna Masters 4 – 0 Richmond Bogans
So here we go again, the Masters Football season. It’s what we old farts live for, it’s what keeps us going on the tools all week and it’s what keeps us subdued when the Mrs drags us along to drapery stores. Kev had analysed our general fitness levels at the pub and come to the conclusion we needed to play on the shortest length, widest pitch of Tahuna. We can’t run that far and we need a lot of space. S3, bring it. The puffing and panting of our 2 minute warm up confirmed the sagacity of the call.
We started on the front foot and ranked up our possession percentage quickly. But the first 10 minutes played like a complicated game of sudoku. We get the easy moves done but couldn’t find the trickier answers to unlock the puzzle. Kev took himself off and put Ed on the turf to diagnose a solution. Thomas was emboldened and suddenly appeared with the ball in the Bogans box. He smashed a shot against the post, he smashed a shot against the keeper and in reply a Bogans defender smashed him onto the ground. Zane, stepping up to referee, dutifully blew his whistle and pointed at the spot. With our number 1 penalty taker off the field who was going to take the kick – Thomas? He made it after all. Nope, that’d be new boy Cunny. With his daughter cheering at the sidelines, Cunny calmly cued the footy into the corner pocket. 1-0 Tahuna. Tahuna smelt blood. Paddy was running the lines well and got the ball into the middle for Goodie to dash into the box and score our second, his debut goal, 2-0. Bogans weren’t offering much at all. With Gwyn, Cam and Bernie calmly snuffing out any foray into our final quarter, my debut full game in goal was proving very uneventful. It was like wearing 3 condoms all at the same time, I was well and truly protected. I imposed some defensive drama through some dubious short distance goal kick punts. The Bogans front line were uplifted. So Cam started taking the goal kicks for me and we could concentrate up front again.
Cunny was everywhere. This time he treated their defenders like shadows, zipping down the right side of the field and slotting it in, 3-0. Shortly after, a hopeful shot come cross looked like an opportunity spurned but in a tight byline spot with the keeper bearing down, Ed twinkle toed it around everyone and laid it across the goal for Goodie to smash it home. 4-0 Tahuna. How long have we played ref? 30 mins, WTF?! The one rare occasion where Bogans got a dangerous cross in (striker hovering), Cunny was 6 yards out, controlled the ball mid-air and teed it away like a pro US Master. We love you Cunny, you the man. We could have easily been 5 up by half time. Zane was playing now and ref Taylah wasn’t convinced by a Tahuna hand ball shout that could have been arm, could have been shoulder. I was far too far away to have an opinion.
Second half was more subdued. Our subs kept rolling and we were back playing tricky sudoku puzzles again, as our final ball or final shot was always missing. Macca had a few separate long distance punts from afar. One of them hit the post. The rugby post well behind the goals. Goodie even got on his trandem and circled their keeper. We all agonisingly watched his shot crawl past the empty net. Cunny hit the crossbar too. Determined to appear in every paragraph of this write up. And towards the end I faced a one-on-one vs 2 Bogans who’d finally broken through. Macca had advised me to depart my goal line every now and again. I figured this was a good occasion to take his advice. I ran into battle and flapped my arms like an ataxic Keaton bird man. Their striker looked a bit shocked and let me steal the ball from his feet. But perhaps the best play of the day was old boy Pete spying the ball just staying in play 75 yards away and Woody’s resultant hand ball infringement. Pete’s been on the carrots again. We celebrated with some Slovakian 12 per centers. Though it turns out that’s percentage proof and not percentage alcohol. Good to know Kev, thanks.
Match Report by Peter Batty
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