10 May 2025
- bountymouse88
- May 12
- 8 min read
Updated: May 13
Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI
Division 3: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:
Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Breakers Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters
1st XI 2-1 Suburbs FC Under 18
Location: Tahunanui S1
Goals: Macca
Match MVP: Joe Robertson
Deep Heat, early goals & vintage finishing – TFC hang on for three points”
Three games in seven days? No worries. The boys lathered themselves in Deep Heat, taped up dodgy hamstrings, and stumbled out for the first home hit-out of the season — this time against a young, fit Nelson Suburbs U18s. The return of club character James Owen back to the firsts added a touch of Kolo Touré-esque stability, as Tahuna looked to bounce back like a 2004-era Bolton Wanderers in a rain-soaked Reebok.
Within seconds, chaos struck. A regulation backpass bobbled over the Suburbs keeper’s foot and rolled into the net.
1–0 Tahuna. Possibly the fastest goal in club history. Somewhere, Sam Allardyce raised a glass.
But the midweek mileage soon caught up. The boys in blue looked every bit like a squad playing their third game in a week — gritty, knackered, and trying to summon the ghost of Roy Keane just to stay in the contest.
Halftime: 1–0.
After a few snarls and a tactical re-shuffle at the break, Tahuna emerged with renewed energy. The defence held strong but the second goal remained elusive.
Until the 78th minute.
A pass slipped through a defender’s legs (nutmeg alert), and Macca latched onto the ball and blasted it right over the goalie and into the net. 2–0. Scenes. Limbs. Slight cramping.
But Suburbs hit back quickly — a controversial goal allowed despite an offside flag. Even Peter Schmeichel would’ve had words.
2–1. Nervous energy all round.
The final 10 was pure trench warfare. Tahuna parked the bus, old-school Mourinho 2004 style, clearing danger like it was the final minutes of a Champions League semi and buoyed on by the boisterous home crowd support.
Man of the Match: Joe Robertson
Running on tramadol, grit and dark magic, Joe “The Wall” Robertson made vital stops and commanded the box like a war general. Vintage. Brave. Iconic.
Final score: 2–1 to TFC.
That’s 2 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss in the opening round. Next up: Suburbs Reserves in a blockbuster game to finish the first round. Match report by Mackenzie.
2nd XI 2-1 Golden Bay Mountain Goats
Location: Tahunanui S1
Goals: Danny Hampton 2
Match MVP: Danny Hampton
In what was always going to be a tough fixture, Tahuna came out strong right from the start and played some good football on a very wet pitch.
After some sustained pressure Danny was alert for a tap in after Harry won the ball in the area for 1-0.
Danny was at it again shortly after with a good shot from just outside the top corner of the box, shooting over the keeper into the far top corner, 2-0.
From here Tahuna should have killed the game with a couple of good chances and plenty of pressure in the box. Golden Bay held on though and turned the game around with a more direct approach with a through ball putting the striker in. 2-1.
From there it was an arm wrestle for 50 minutes. Tired bodies, cramps and some injuries all piled on, and Golden Bay were unlucky not to level it up on several occasions. Joe Walton with the tackle of the season on the goal line at the death to secure the 3 points.
Plenty to work on but we'll take it and move on
Match report by James Munday.
3rd XI 6-1 Richmond FC Thistle
Location: Tahunanui S3
Goals: Sayha, Sobi 2, Thorsten, Binh, Diego
Match MVP: Thorsten Sunny skies and the inauguration of Tahuna S3 it was a day to remember for the top of the table clash as Tahuna 3rds took on Richmond Thistle.
The game kicked off as Richmond looked to close the gap on Tahuna but within the first 20 seconds the game was turned on its head as Sobi latched onto a poor pass and fired from range, The Richmond keeper looking like a hapless Andre Onana was rooted to the spot and watched on as the ball rolled into the back of the net!
Kick off again and Richmond started to wake up with some neat interplay and managed to get a shot off that landed safely in the hands of the tahuna 3rds reserve GK Zachary Sommer. Tahuna, buoyed by the early goal, began playing like 2010 Barcelona and some beautiful passing between Quan, Sobi, Kieron and Diego set Sayha up for a few shots on target. Richmond came forward again down the wings but Stefano and Thorsten on the flanks were cutting every ball out that came their way. Eric and Oli looking rock solid in the middle of defense.
Some end to end stuff between the teams in the early stages. The Richmond keeper then inexplicably after receiving a back pass decided to pass the ball directly to Binh who without a second thought, took a touch and hammered straight back to make it 2-0. Richmonds heads dropped and it was only 15mins on the clock in the first half.
Richmond then not long after got a goal back after a mix up between Oli, Eric and Zach gifted them an easy goal. Richmond thought they were back in it, how wrong they were....
Tahuna ended up with a corner after a great run by Stefano who was unfortunate not to score himself. The corner was taken and as the ball floated in, Sobi rose above everyone to fire a Scud missile of a header straight past the keeper, almost tearing the net apart. Scenes, limbs everywhere! Tahuna 3-1 up as halftime approached. Richmond came forward again and again the Tahuna backline stood their ground, the earlier Richmond goal had invigorated Eric, Oli and Zachary Sommer to keep their comms loud so no ball got through.
Diego then decided to get in on the action and after some neat play by Kieron, Quan and himself added another goal to his season tally, cue the samba shake. 4-1 to Tahuna as the ref blew for halftime.
2nd half kicked off and no changes were made as Tahuna looked to completely put the game to bed. 10mins went by before Tahuna started doing some player changes with Will Simpson coming on for Quan and Fraser coming on for Binh. The latter instantly making his presence felt by screaming past 2 Richmond players and putting the ball in only for Sobi to put it agonisingly over the bar. Tahuna smelled the killshot and non other than Sayha was to be the one to do it as he smashed it into to the net to make it 5-1 and get his 5th goal of the season. Richmond visibly looked defeated as more changes were made and Oli Creed come off to thunderous applause made way for Matty Knight.
Richmond threatened but again their attempts were mopped up by Zachary Sommer. The Tahuna backline held steady. Tahuna ended up with a corner, Thorsten who had been playing like prime Roberto Carlos took the corner and managed to sail it past the keeper and into the back of the net 6-1 and that was game set and match. A flurry of substitutions were made by Tahuna as fatigue from playing like prime 2010 Barcelona set in with players cramping up left right and centre. Richmond didn't threaten much after that as Tahuna continued to dominate.
Ref blew the whistle for full time and with results going their way Tahuna now find themselves 5 points clear at the top of division 3 and travel next week to play Richmond Stags and aim to complete the Richmond trifecta.
4th XI 4-2 Nelson Suburbs Wanabies
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: Jonny, Keris, Dong, Luke
Match MVP: Josh Munro
Back at home playing in the Blue and white - brand new shorts that nobody noticed so the sizing must be right! Soft grounds but beautiful sunny weather saw the 4ths collect a home ground win on Saturday. With Zach stepping up to the 3rd XI to play goals "I'm not playing goal keeper anymore" yeah right.... Left the squad which was already struggling for numbers yet again asking for help. Huge thanks to Dong for lending a hand and Bernie returning to keep the defense solid. Team work makes the dream work! Congrats to Keris for scoring his first goal of the season! Many more to come I'm sure. Good to see Ryans continuous support while frustratedly cheering from the side line and Justin who's recently had surgery out limping about refing the match. Man of the match went to Josh Munro for his stella performance in the mid field.
TFC Breakers 9-0 Motueka
Location: Memorial Park
Goals: Sophie, Jesikah, Hannah 2, Liv 3, Janelle, Rebecca
Match MVP: Rebecca
The Tahuna Breakers delivered a clinical performance in front of goal on Saturday, securing a 9–0 victory over the Motueka Angels at Memorial Park. While the scoreline was one-sided, the match also highlighted the resilience and spirit of the Motueka side, who battled hard throughout against an in-form Breakers squad.
Tahuna wasted no time getting into their rhythm, when Sophie found the net, setting the tone for what would be an exciting first half. Shortly after, Jesikah coolly rounded the goalkeeper to slot home the Breakers' second. Liv added her name to the scoresheet with a sharp finish off a rebound from the keeper, before Hannah delivered a solo effort with a shot at goal, only to be stopped by the keeper with a rebound that allowed Hannah to put it around the keeper and into the back of the net
Hannah added a second before halftime, making it two for her on the day, followed by Liv's powerful shot into the net, made it 6–0 at the break. Despite the pressure, Motueka's defence continued to show effort and heart, working tirelessly to hold back wave after wave of Tahuna attacks.
Tahuna picked up where they left off in the second half, with Liv completing her hat-trick in confident fashion. Rebecca Beer’s brilliant header from EJ’s corner extended the lead, earning her MVP honors for her all-round contribution. The final goal came from Janelle, whose powerful strike capped off the scoring.
Despite the continued pressure, Motueka’s players never let their heads drop. They continued to push forward when they could, with several breakaway attempts testing the Tahuna backline of Jenna, Bailey, and Marijke.
The midfield of Michelle and Aimee worked tirelessly to gain foothold, and orchestrated attacks for Tahuna with sharp passing and long balls. From the goal, Tahuna captain Arin provided steady leadership, helping her side stay organised and focused.
One of the true highlights for the Angels was the exceptional performance of their goalkeeper. Facing a relentless barrage, she saved around 60% of the shots on target—a remarkable effort that slowed down the Tahuna advances and drew praise from both sets of supporters.
There is plenty for the Motueka Angels to take pride in—from their goalkeeper’s heroics to their unyielding effort across the pitch. For the Breakers, the performance was a confident statement of their attacking prowess and team unity.
Match report by Cris Phelan.
TFC Masters 2-4 Suburbs United
Location: Saxton Field
Goals: Paddy, Gaz
Match MVP: Dan Smith
We played a good Suburbs team and we needed to bring our 'A' game......but we didn't. They were definitely fitter and tidier than us and that eventually showed in the mid field. We got over run and with players like they had that was fatal. Their attacks went pass, pass, pass, pass, through ball........ours went 'charge'.
Despite the score I thought the back line played well, led by Cam who worked his socks off, I thought Ed played a very difficult position in the midfield. What little service the wingers got was used well but there wasn't enough of it. I think we needed a vocal captain out there to steady the ship.
Anyway the first half finished 2-0. We pulled one back early in the second half (Gaz got on the end of a break by Ed). But then they scored another 2 before we replied (their keeper gifted Patty a tap in) and the game finished 4-2.
Match Report by Colin Chapman.
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