23 May 2026
- 3 hours ago
- 12 min read
Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:
Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Womens XI Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters
1st XI 1 - 1 Suburbs Reserves
Location: Tahunanui S1
Goals: Ethan
Match MVP: Adam
Another stunning day at KFC Park and another point added to the ever-growing undefeated run for the Tahuna FC First XI. A decent gaggle of supporters lined the sand-based Tahuna carpet as almost every Tahuna side played at home, while Suburbs parents continued their long-standing tradition of dropping the kids off for football before heading beachside for a flat white and a lie down.
This marked Tahuna’s third game in eight days, which is ideal timing considering everyone in the squad is a “young athlete”. Knees, hips and recovery times may suggest otherwise. For once, this was a game involving actual footballers. After the fiery 0 0 draw earlier in the season, both sides were desperate to get one over the other and it showed immediately.
The first half was played at a cracking pace with the ball zipping around, both teams enjoying good spells of possession and both sets of players doing their best to get under each other’s skin. Proper football. The deadlock was eventually broken after Suburbs worked their way deep into Tahuna territory. A sharp ball was cut back from the byline and tucked away past El Presidente, who had a very tidy game between the sticks.
Suburbs 1 Tahuna 0
Tahuna responded well, using the right-hand side as the main source of attack. Luc saw plenty of the ball and linked up nicely with Will, who spent most of the half sprinting into channels and finding himself in acres of space with a tough angle to shoot from. Tahuna thought they had the perfect chance to level things up when Cunny burst through the Suburbs backline and into the box before getting absolutely folded from behind. Somehow this was not worth a whistle. Ehhhhh??
Half time arrived with Tahuna trailing 1-0.
One change at the break saw the freshly signed and never seen before Thangaa make his debut up top, replacing Danny. The second half had far less rhythm with constant stoppages killing any real flow. Tahuna controlled most of the possession but struggled to create clear chances in the final third. Then came the moment. A switch ball found Thangaa out wide with the Suburbs keeper stranded somewhere near Nelson. Spotting the opportunity, Thangaa launched an outrageous ball goalward from near the sideline where Ethan arrived perfectly to send it home.
1-1
Game on. The final ten minutes felt like Tahuna were destined to nick a winner. Momentum was building before more stoppages slowed the game to the pace of an over 35s social fixture. At the other end, the Tahuna backline stood tall and shut down any late Suburbs attacks. Yet another Tahuna penalty shout was waved away after advantage was somehow played for approximately 0.4 seconds following a particularly tasty Suburbs foul.
In the end, both sides shared the points, keeping Tahuna undefeated and setting up an inevitable third round battle where both teams will once again try to finally take all three points off each other. A massive shift from Ethan Skinner, but Man of the Match goes to Adam at right back for another classy display of defending, composure and generally making life miserable for wingers. Next week the boys head over the hill to goat country looking to continue the unbeaten run, collect three points and hopefully return home with a goat pie or two.
UP UP Match report by Seth
2nd XI 1 - 2 Suburbs
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: OG
Match MVP: Dong
Tahuna 2nd XI arrived running on fumes. Down to the bare bones, we still had 11 ready to kick off, plus one-legged Joe Walton prowling the sideline with his flag like a man who had seen the future and knew it involved a second-half cameo and emotional damage. Suburbs, meanwhile, turned up youthful, energetic, and annoyingly capable of running without groaning.
The first half began in classic Tahuna fashion: everyone technically present, but spiritually still in bed. Suburbs went ahead early when a long free kick shockingly sailed over our towering defenders, who were presumably admiring its flight path, and Handsome Rob ghosted in unmarked to control and smash it home. A tidy finish, yes. Pretty average from us, also yes. Somewhere, Ross Smith wept a single tear.
Suburbs quickly worked out that our right-hand side looked like a promising area of research and began targeting Sam with the enthusiasm of a toddler with a Capri-Sun and no supervision. A few of our boys got nutmegged, Dong was sent so far into the stands he came back with hot chips, and Johnny beat up a kid, which we’ll generously call “asserting himself physically against youthful opposition.”
Pedro, sensing the game had become too polite, started targeting ankles with the subtlety of a man reversing a trailer. His reward was a fully justified yellow card, accepted with all the calm dignity you’d expect from a South American.
The game didn’t have much life in it, so the ref kindly added seasoning. Pedro found this so inspirationally annoying that he substituted himself, which is either exceptional leadership or a cry for help. Then, against the run of play, Tahuna found an equaliser. A long free kick was launched into the Suburbs box, where Handsome Rob completed the rare striker-defender double by majestically heading into his own net under pressure from Danny Ross. 1–1 at the oranges.
The second half brought the introduction of Joe, which immediately made Tahuna look a bit more composed on the ball. There were passes to teammates, occasional shapes resembling football, and stretches where the ball actually stayed on the ground. Munday, meanwhile, tried to get the Suburbs sideline in trouble with a ventriloquist act so committed it deserved either a booking or funding from Creative NZ.
Handsome Rob then completed his hat-trick of match involvements by earning 10 minutes on the naughty step for dissent. Goal for Suburbs, own goal for Tahuna, temporary removal from society. A complete footballing afternoon. With Suburbs down to 10, Tahuna had a chance to take control and make the extra man count. Naturally, we did not. We huffed, puffed, and mostly wandered around the attacking third like men trying to remember why they’d opened the fridge. Then, in the dying seconds, after some casual play that would have looked relaxed even in the Sprig’s beer garden, Suburbs broke down their right, whipped in a cross, and produced a brilliant headed finish from range, guided in off the post. The ref blew for full time almost as soon as the restart was taken, a merciful act for players, spectators, and several nearby dogs.
Man of the Match went to Dong, who worked hard throughout and put in a huge defensive shift despite being physically and spiritually relocated at least once. Dick of the Day went to Will, who had a quick yarn with Geeza at half time and was immediately sacrificed to the post-match banter gods.
Match report by Will
3rd XI 1 - 6 FC Nelson Development
Location: Tahunanui S1 Goals: Sobi
Match MVP: Sobi Another great day for football at KFC Arena as Tahuna 3rds took on Nelson Development in a game where both teams sorely needed a win. Tahuna this week boasted 1 whole substitute, a marked improvement from 0 the previous week against the Seals.
Nelson kicked off and set to work to break down a Tahuna team still looking for a result in god knows how long. It didn't take long either as Nelson Development found themselves 2-0 in the first 12 mins, break downs in communication between the Tahuna players allowed Nelson to run riot. Undeterred Tahuna set about trying to get some goals on the board with Binh, Wayne and Sayha combining well up top but misplaced shots not really troubling the Nelson keeper.
Wayne then was on the receiving end of a hard challenge and needed to come off with Stu coming on to take his place and Tahuna switching to a 4-5-1 to try and get a hold of the midfield. Nelson then got themselves another goal to make it 3-0 with 30mins played.
Tahuna just couldn't find their X factor and it started to show as Stu managed to pick up his first ever yellow in his playing career by committing a very professional foul on a Nelson player (he got the ball, the man was just in the way)
At the back Tom Dunn was busier than a squirrel gathering nuts before winter, making save after save to keep Nelson at bay. A brilliant move from Tahuna saw Sayha released down the right, he unselfishly returned the ball to Stu but his attempt went narrowly wide.
A tough talk at halftime and Tahuna came straight back onto the pitch hoping the 2nd half would be a lot better.
Tahuna kicked off and straight away had a multitude of attempts on the Nelson goal, Sayha, Binh and Wayne all having their fair share of chances but neither could find a way through. Nelson then got a break and made the score 4-0 on the day. Back at the centre circle Sobi took it upon himself to try a long range shot, to which it actually paid off as it flew into the post, bounced out hit the keeper and rolled into the back of the net! 4-1 and definitely goal of the season contender.
Tahuna tried as best they could to claw their way back with Rhys also picking up a booking for a naughty challenge and then proceeded to play a game of red card roulette with the ref by taking players out left, right and centre.
Nelson then scored another couple of goals to make it 6-1 as Tahuna looked absolutely knackered by the end of it.
Final score 6-1 to Nelson Development as we hit the midway point of the season. Up next for Tahuna is a trip to Saxton to face Nelson Suburbs 2nd XI. Hopefully they can get a result as logic dictates they have no played everyone and they should know how everyone else plays.
Match report by Stu
4th XI 1 - 0 Motueka 3rd XI
Location: Memorial Park
Goals: Adam
Match MVP: Iggy
We got to Mot, everyone was smiling, so I kind of thought we'd have a good day. It turned out to be the hardest match of the season. So I'd given the team talk...play with a smile and as I'd missed breakfast I went for a coffee n pie.
As soon as I could see the pitch I saw everyone was around their penalty box and we had a penalty....wooohooo. Adam stepped up and slotted it in the bottom left corner. Then I got closer and no one was celebrating or moving. The ref had called a re-take. Adam stepped up and smashed it to their keepers left about head height. But it was so brutal it hit the back of the net before the keeper could react...and i nearly dropped my pie. 1-0, 2/3 mins into the game.
The rest was possibly the hardest game of the season. So still 1-0 half time. As we were kicking down hill in the second half we switched from a 4-4-2 to 4-3-3 and try and take advantage of kicking down hill and putting more of my guys in their box. I also stuck Zach on their play maker to take him out of the game. Great job Zach.
Great job throughout the squad. We had a few breaks we should have put away and killed the game off and a few hairy situation where Iggy (man of the match) kept them out. You try holding a 1-0 lead for virtually 90 mins....we did. Hard work, 1-0, 3 points
Match report by Colin
TFC Womens XI 7 - 0 Motueka
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals: Nik, Ruby (2) Sophie (3) Roxy
Match MVP: Ruby On a bright Tahuna morning, with the sun above S2, the Women’s XI gathered, with one clear thing to do. For Nik, in her second-last game, the coach had made the call: “Today’s the day, go get it —today you score that ball.” The whistle blew, Motueka moved, but Tahuna answered fast, Ruby crossed, and Nik flew in —her waiting time had passed. Ninety seconds on the clock, the ball was chipped with flair, it nestled in the back of goal, and cheers filled Tahuna air.
Motueka broke with courage, their runners quick and keen, but Rebecca, Christy, Marijke, and Michelle kept the defence clean. Jenna stood brave between the posts, first-half gloves in hand, while Tahuna pushed the game ahead and started to command. Then Ruby raced down the right-hand side, through defenders she would glide, she struck with power, the keeper stopped —but it still rolled inside.
Again she found the chaos, where sticks and feet had spun, she dribbled past the keeper and calmly scored another one. Her crosses, runs, and tireless heart lit up the field that day, so Ruby earned the honours —Player of the Day. Then Sophie took the middle, with defenders in her wake, she lifted one above the keeper, a classy goal to take.
At halftime Tahuna stood ahead, with confidence and pride, then Aimee took the keeper’s role to guard the second side. For twenty minutes both teams pressed, with chances end to end, and Amiee showed her courage each time she had to defend.
Then Sophie struck a second time, straight down the middle lane, a mirror of her first fine goal, with power once again. Roxy on the left wing said, “I’m going to score today” then charged ahead and smashed it home in classic Roxy way. Michelle moved through the midfield, sent a perfect cross with care, and Sophie finished sweetly —a hat-trick in the air.
Seven goals for Tahuna, but Motueka still stood tall, their keeper brave and brilliant, saving shot after shot and all. Nik kept flying down the field, a weapon full of pace, until a clash of heads brought pause and worry to each face. EJ and Rebecca came, with calm and caring hands, to help both players from the turf, as teammates took their stands.
Thankfully they walked away, after courage had been shown, and with the score at seven-nil, the final whistle blown. So here’s to Nik’s long-awaited goal, to Ruby’s shining day, to Sophie’s hat-trick, Roxy’s strike, and Tahuna’s winning way.
Match report by Cris
TFC Masters 2 - 2 Suburbs Masters
Location: Tahunanui S3
Goals: Diego, Paddy
Match MVP: Ollie
The night before game day Tahuna fields were lit up with the pounding fireworks of the port’s blessing of the fleet. With 2 consecutive losses and a visit from the undefeated, top of the table Suburbs Masters, it’s fair to say we were expecting fireworks, and a hard shift again.
Suburbs pressed from the off and attacked our left corner. Old boy Pete was in the thick of the action. He did well to shield Suburb attackers off the ball but crosses and shots from afar rained down early regardless. Ollie had limited distribution options and was shocked when he was pulled up for holding onto the ball for 8 seconds. Like the Muppet Count von Count he energetically shouted his personal countdown henceforth.
It was bunched up for the rest of us in midfield, but Macca found some space and spotted Diego lurking dangerously on the edge of the 18-yard box. Diego fancied himself from there. And well he should, curling an absolute beauty with pace and dip into the top right corner of their goal. Yowsers 1-0 to the Huna.
Diego tried a further long-range effort shortly after but went over the top this time. He played Paddy through who dashed towards the box only to be smothered out by Suburb’s ever present back four. Like many of our recent games our energy dropped off towards the latter end of the first half. Suburbs pressed and pushed. Ollie did a point blank save that was pushed towards Gaz on the backline who headed it over and away to everyone’s relief. They hit the post, cleared the crossbar (+ the rugby post crossbar) several times. Suburbs were wasting plenty even missing a free header six yards or so out from goal.
Ollie was a wall in front of our goal. We were all dashing back to help, scrapping for every challenge, every clearance. In reply to a threatening, dropping cross, I whipped my leg out for a clearance volley. Unfortunately, I only connected with Cam. He knocked it clear with his head. I kneed him right in the middle of his back. Ow. That would have hurt. Sorry Camster. Cam went off shortly after. He’s the “who” in Tahuna. Get better soon legend. As halftime neared, I finally got the ball in space and punted a cross that dipped onto an onrushing Goody. Not the right connection unfortunately. 1-0 at halftime.
We were buoyed by our performance so far and begging to bring it home. A blessing of the fleet jet plane was diving across Tahuna and circling over our pitch now. Everyone wanted a look at this all action match. Second half, we played with better width from the get-go and Paddy was through 1 on 1 a couple of times. He shot agonisingly wide. We were so close to making it 2 right there.
Diego found himself again on the edge of the box, but Suburbs were tag teaming up against him now. Diego tried to thread shots down closed alleys. On reflection passing to an unmarked winger would have been a better choice. Kev found me on the left and I dummied past their right back, ran to goal and cut it back to Kev. He had a shot the goalie could only parry into the box. Paddy was there to tidy up and was sure footed this time around sweeping it into their goal, 2-0 Tahuna!
Suburbs pushed back. They hadn’t lost a game all season and were committed to not letting this be their first. Again, we were all covering back, putting pressure on kick outs and the midfield. I was helping Gwyn on the left side and found myself covering in the centre of the box when a cross came in. I jumped to head it clear but mistimed the impact. The ball landed on the far side of our box. A suburbs striker hit it against Paddy, a looping deflection leaving Ollie in no mans land and the ball landing into our goal, 2-1. With only 10 minutes or so to go we were desperate to hold on.
There was a no one will pass mentality across our whole team. But sadly, a strong challenge on the line of our box from Diego was a little too strong and the whistle blew… You needed a camera to check if it was just in or just out of the box but either way the penalty was given and calmly dispatched. Both teams pushed for a winner but there were no clear chances in the final minutes.
And although it was deeply disappointing to lose a 2-0 lead, so close to the end too, a draw was a fair result and would have been snatched up greedily by Tahuna before the whistle was blown. If we can play like that every week, we can be a match for anyone! Match Report by Pete B
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