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9 July 2022

Photos (as noted) by Ab's Snaps. For more match-day pics join the Facebook Group. To purchase photos or request your own photos at the next game contact Abbi Robinson.


1st XI 1-3 Suburbs Seals

Location: Tahuna Reserve

Goals: Will Matthews

Match MVP: Fonua (Nua) Taliauli

After an excellent midweek performance against the unbeaten Suburbs left the boys unrewarded, the lads were hungry for a much-needed win against Suburbs Seals.

The sun was shining bright at KFC Park, and a good crowd of Tahuna fans promised for a great atmosphere at this middle-of-the-table clash. However, being the third game in 7 days, fatigue began to show not long after the kickoff. A wee scramble in the box after a corner saw a Seals Midfielder lash the ball into the roof of the net leaving the boys 1-0 down. Unfortunately, it didn't take much longer for the boys in maroon to double their lead. Ben Wright was handed the ball on the edge of the box which he dispatched clinically. The boys finished the first half with good passages of play and shots towards goal to lift the spirits and hopes, despite going into oranges 2 down.

Stern words from coach Uiki in the changing rooms sent the boys back out with fire in the belly. Quickly after the second half started the momentum switched and the Tahuna lads got a hold of the game. A mixture of great pressing and fine passing put doubt into the Seals ability to keep their lead. It seemed as if all the hard work would go to waste until a wonder ball from Macca found its way into the box. Will Matthews leapt the highest to head the ball across the face of goal into the corner of the net. A fine goal to add to his growing tally. The boys pushed and pushed for a late equalizer leaving them prone to a counterattack, but the back four stood strong as they do week in, week out. The scores remained the same until the last minute of the game when a soft penalty was given to the away team. There was no fairytale ending and the boys fell short of the 3 points despite a respectful second half.

Man of the match went to Nua after another stellar performance from centreback.

We go again next week in a must-win game against last year's league winners Richmond. UP UP!!!!

Match report by Joe.


2nd XI 3-1 Suburbs Seals (Reserves)

Location: Saxton Fields

Goals: Dan Smith, Ed Johnson, Duane Valentine

Match MVP: Ed Johnson

Still nursing the regret of last week's 2 points dropped, and the hangover from 2 shots of tequila too many from curry night, the blue army this week looking hot in black, convened at a soggy but expectant Saxton for (yet another) top of the table clash.

Roused by captain fantastic Geeza in the changing rooms, and then again afterwards by his team talk, the boys were feeling good.

Confidence was flowing despite doing a warm-up drill that Geeza had aimed at 11-year-olds earlier that day and part-time ref Kev thought was "getting better" (because we couldn't have got worse) we took to the muddy field.

I can't remember how we started but we seemed to be camped in the suburb's half. Confident playing the ball across the back and midfield lines, pulling them around, nice triangles, training drills and Geeza's instructions put into practice. We played our best when we weren't rushing, foot on the ball, turn, find the man in space and move to get it back. Simple but effective. Jack worked hard upfront dragging defenders around. Duane dropping into space, great movement from Geeza linking with the on-fire Ethan. The first, well-deserved goal came with the tireless Dan running onto a diagonal ball into the box and turning it into the corner.

More of the calm controlled possession play across the lines led to Ethan finding Ed in space outside the box who knocked it into the top left for 2-0. A great team goal reminiscent of the Cambiasso Argentina World Cup team goal we had all been studying hard for our YouTube homework from Mr Harding.

Not content with already being the fittest (and fittest 😉) player for TFC, IT decided to show his strength and give a Seal a piggyback ride. Those sideburns looked heavy too.

Will later shared his phone number with the biggest Seal after a bit of flirting and fondling in the box and Gaz kicked a ball in his own face whilst flying acrobatically six feet high in the air. No one knows why.

A ref fell over on the neighbouring pitch and everyone thought Ed hadn't been running enough so he should sprint over and check it out.

Second half and we reminded everyone why this is still just third division: Eric (who had until then played his usual perfect game of cute but controlled clinical violence) decided the tall striker's shit shot needed punishing, so pushed him in the back 3 seconds afterwards to give away a penalty, Will was scared of being Dick of the Day again so jumped away from the miss-hit penalty and tried to use his feet but to no avail. 2-1 but we didn't wobble. Anyway, there was a lovely rainbow to "ooh and aah" at, and for a split second we all came together across the football divide to marvel at the beauty of nature.

There could and should have been more Tahuna goals. The suburb's keeper, looking pretty in pink, flew through the air to deny us more but could do nothing after yet more link up wing play on the left saw the ball pop to Mr Golden Boot Duane to finish calmly from the six-yard box. IT rippled the outside net a few times after tireless running. Will clawed away some excellent athletic saves. Skinner proved solid moving from RB to the centre, though he's still struggling to accept his son Ethan is better than him (the issue is he's far better than all of us and we will miss him when he goes back to waste his time at university soon).

Special mention to Paddy for not hacking out a post-covid lung and to Glenn and Steve for stepping up and a beautiful bunch of supporters on the sidelines.

Everyone put in a cracking effort and it was a pleasure to be part of this team. Top of the table is well deserved and we remain undefeated.

Match report by Ed.


3rd XI 5-6 Richmond Bogans

Location: Tahuna Reserve

Goals: Cole Chapman, Sayha Men (2), Pedro Ivo (2)

Match MVP: Matt Wakeford

We started OK....not flash but OK, Sobi put a lovely ball through their back line which I ran on to and lifted over their keeper. What an awesome feeling watching it roll into the back of their net 1-0. Don't really remember the rest. I think Sayha scored next after skinning a few of their defenders 2-0. Then they put 3 past us and finished the half 2-3 up. I think a couple of their goals came from trying one too many passes across our box and coughing it up in our area.

The second half didn't get much better, they scored after about 5 mins 2-4. We got stuck in, worked hard, and managed to get back on top after Sayha got another and Pedro got 2. Then with only 5 to go, they put another 2 past us.......I've talked about the Xmas tree thing. And we lost. Boo hoooo.

Just one more thing before I go, and we don't normally do this, but just for this week we will have a dick of the day award..............and the award goes to Pedro for letting Kyle take the penalty. Pedro you only have 2 jobs and 1 of them is taking penalties.......the other is .......well we don't talk about that....

Player of the day to Matt (always cool and comfortable on the ball....great job Matt)

Goal scorers Col 1, Sayha 2, Pedro 2 (should have been 3 coz he should have taken the penalty).

So bring on your best games from here on in, win this league, and let an old man lift a title one more time.

Oh nearly forgot, Ollie made 5 or 6 kick-arse saves, and no one player was bad, we just didn't play as a team in vital parts of the game. Finally.....Mark I'm sorry I smashed the ball into your chest, knocking you over and putting you off the field for 15 mins....I was aiming for the centre circle. Hope you are OK.

See you at training.

Last, but not least, for those who don't know what Xmas tree means. It's a formation where it's just Pedro up front the 2 behind him, then 3 behind them, then a back 4. The idea is we keep most of our guys behind the ball and choke their attacks with sheer numbers.

Sesame Street Reaction GIF by HBO Max

Match report by Cole.


Breakers 2-2 Mapua Cougars

Location: Tahuna Reserve

Goals: Shannon Smith (2)

Match MVP: Meagan Hayes

Let's start this one by saying, I (Bob) didn't think there was anyone else on our team that cared less about their 1.5 brain cells than I. Well folks, we've found her. Let me introduce our usual coach-cum-keeper; Bob #2. Only the coolest of cats can claim a place in the Bob-dom, and it's with much pleasure that I introduce our newest member, Ms Courtney Rayes. Welcome to the wolf pack of ballsiness!

Pitch conditions at la estacíon de TFC were moist, to say the least, with a good portion of the far side of the pitch under an inch or so of water - just like the boot of Zach's car. Donning the pre-moistened colours of our homeland, we sloshed our way into battle. The Cougars outnumbered us, but in an "all-class-and-fall-on-your-ass" display of athleticism and synchronized swimming, I think we might just have out footballed them.

In a game of two halves (literally - dem da rules) the Breakers played possibly our best game of the season so far. The first half saw us putting pressure on their defence using some of our spontaneous shooting skills we had acquired just two days ago. It wasn't long before the Cougars cracked under the pressure, allowing Meagan and Shan an opportunity to show off their fancy footwork and take the first point of the match. Mapua, now hungry for a goal, upped the anti and attacked. Many attempts were shut down by players, puddles and safe hands, but a close-range shot came too quick, putting the score at an even 1 all. Several more attacks from both teams before the TFC girls pulled together for a whole-team-effort-goal (Shan finishing it off) putting us up 2 - 1 "heading to oranges" as the lads put it.

The second half started out great with the defence holding off the attacking Cougars and our attack squad making some excellent passes and attempts on goal. Our dynamic centreback duo of Mich and Anita sure made it hard for the opposition to get by. Unfortunately, the Cougars soon made a break and outran our defence, Court came out but they gave her the slip and placed one in. 2 - 2. The Breakers kept battling, as did Mapua, with both teams eager to claim the win. As things got frantic, mistakes started to happen with several fouls called against both sides - the wet conditions not helping us to stay upright, and we may have accidentally taken a player or two down with us (not looking at anyone in particular backline....). A handball in their box by a Cougars defence saw us with a penalty opportunity, unfortunately tired legs meant it wasn't to be today. Despite many attempts, the Breakers left the 2nd half goalless meaning the final score was a 2 - 2 draw.

Absolute stellar keeping from Court with her (forced out of necessity) debut this season, so so many saves, and all done with a smile for the opposition too! Every single corner, she'd bellow a war cry before launching into the crowd and plucking the ball from the air. (Almost) every single loose/breakaway ball, she'd be there, way out past the box, looking far too calm and composed before placing a well-aligned lace on the ball sending it back to oblivion.

But ultimately, player of the day went to Meagan, literally on fire the whole match and putting the Cougars keeper to work - including a collision or two. Shots, passes, dribbling around several players at once, she does it all!

Tit of the day went to Courtney, who must be so used to seeing a side-on view of the team, struggled to identify us from behind and was directing all of the wrong people into the right spots - whoops!

Another big supporters bench (albeit slightly quieter than last week) with some familiar favourites and some new recruits - thanks all! Also big thanks Taylah for reffing the 2nd half for us!

Match Report by Bob.


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