27 June 2026
- Jun 30
- 9 min read
Division 1: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 1st XI Division 2: Sprig + Fern Tahuna 2nd XI Sprig + Fern Tahuna 3rd XI Division 4:
Women's Premiership: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Womens XI Masters Football: Sprig + Fern Tahuna Masters
1st XI 1 - 4 Suburbs Reserves
Location: Saxton Fields
Goals: Danny
Match MVP: Cunny
Well the Tahuna wave finally washed out at Saxtons on Saturday, with a 4-1. Loss. The first Xl were once again bitten by a shortage of players, turning up to play a Suburbs team hosting their maximum SPL player involvement was always going to be a tough ask with the bare Xl.
Seth donned the goalie gloves, and put in a good shift, however Suburbs scored were let through on goals throughout the game. A formation change in the last 20 minutes gave Danny 'the Moose' Hampton a couple of chances one of which he took. The Tahuna boys kept fighting to the end, MVP going to Cunny, who never gave up.
The boys will need to reset and get back to winning ways with a good home performance against the Golden Bay Goals on Saturday. Match report by Dave
2nd XI 4 - 2 Tahuna 3rd XI
Location: Tahunanui S1
Goals: Arjun, Quan, Dong (2)
Match MVP: Joe
The second Tahuna derby rolled around with the 2nds short on players and stuttering through the season like a lawnmower full of old petrol, while the 3rds came in looking to carry some decent form into the game. Both sides lined up without keepers, which felt less like tactics and more like poor life admin.
Dan “The Monk” Smith went in goal for the 2nds, thankfully rescued minutes before kick-off by Will biking down with a pair of gloves. Elite match-day preparation. Pep would be proud.
The sideline was also far quieter without Stu “The Human Megaphone” Mountain, who was fortunately for everyone in Queenstown. A huge loss for volume, but a big win for anyone within a six-kilometre radius who enjoys hearing their own thoughts.
The 2nds started well, with Dong, Geeza and Pedro linking nicely and pulling the 3rds defence around. Joe and Jamie were strong in the middle, and Dong eventually opened the scoring with tidy footwork and a sharp finish from a tight angle. He soon added a second, although not before being kind enough to miss a handful of chances.
More pressure and a peach of an assist from Pedro, let Quan in for another, before Binh pulled one back from distance, the ball squirming under Dan despite an otherwise excellent half in goal. Arjun then grabbed his first Tahuna goal after another mistake, sending the 2nds into the break 4-1 up.
At half-time Geeza decided he’d seen enough and simply drove off, meaning Munday had to squeeze 45 minutes out of his broken body with no subs. Ross put on the oven mitts and went in goal. The second half was more even, with the 3rds growing into it as the 2nds took their foot off the pedal. Jonny, Danny, Ross and Jamie held together pretty well at the back, though Sayha and Binh’s pace caused a few issues. Ross made a couple of saves for the cameras, including one he could have caught but chose to punch while smiling at imaginary paparazzi. Somewhere in the bushes, a scout took note.
A sloppy five minutes gave the 3rds a second, making it a bit tighter than Rhys’ hamstrings near the end. Not one for the purists and, at times, a hard watch. But six goals for the neutrals and no new injuries is basically a festival of football by our standards.
Man of the Match: Joe Walton. Solid all round without needing to get into second gear, which is handy because I’m not sure he can currently change gears without breaking further. Special thanks to the two Wills, who shared sideline duties magnificently, rotating in and out like elite officials managing workload, despite the only real qualification being injury and proximity to the flag.
Match report by Will
3rd XI 2 - 4 Tahuna 2nd XI
Location: Tahunanui S1 Goals: Binh, Sayha
Match MVP: Binh
Club derby day. The 3rds came into the clash against the 2nds hoping to prove that league positions are merely a social construct. Unfortunately, the first half suggested they might actually mean something.
For the opening 20 minutes, the 3rds were arguably the better side. We moved the ball well, created chances, and generally looked like we knew what we were doing. The 2nds, meanwhile, decided to try something radical: having a shot. It worked. Encouraged by this revolutionary tactic, they thought, "Let's have another." That worked too. By this point they had discovered a groundbreaking strategy of putting the ball somewhere near the goal and watching it end up in the back of the net.
Four goals later, the only effort that didn't score was one that cannoned off the woodwork, which was unlucky to miss out on Man of the Match after making more saves than most of the defence. The 3rds did manage to pull one back before halftime, sending everyone into the sheds at 4-1 with just enough hope to make the second half emotionally worthwhile.
To the lads' credit, the response after the break was excellent. Pride was restored, lungs were located, and the team collectively remembered that allowing opponents unlimited time on the ball isn't actually compulsory. Another goal reduced the deficit to 4-2, and from there the 3rds comfortably won the second half... proving once again that if football only lasted 45 minutes, we'd be absolutely unstoppable.
A special mention goes to Referee Justin, who delivered an outstanding performance. Every decision favoured Tahuna, which was remarkably consistent considering both teams were Tahuna. Whichever Tahuna side appealed the loudest generally seemed to receive the decision, proving that home advantage is alive and well, even when everyone is technically at home.
The assistant referee, however (who notably arrived at the ground on a bicycle after the cost-of-living crisis forced him to sell the reindeer, looking like Santa's less successful cousin doing Uber Eats between Christmases), had a more interpretive approach to officiating. Throw-ins appeared to involve legs lifting so high off the ground Mr. Miyagi would be proud to be sensei to, jersey tugs and tackles that have previously earned MMA Fighters money through Pay-Per-View sales and yet the flag remained firmly by his side throughout. Thanks for not dobbing me in on those Will!
Despite the result, the 3rds can take plenty from the performance. We matched the 2nds for large periods, won the second half, and reminded everyone that football is a game of two halves. Unfortunately, the first one still counts and the 2nds not having subs still proves to be an acceptable level of player numbers to beat the 3rds with. The final score read 4-2. The 2nds conclusively take the season bragging rights and unfortunately associated naming rights of Inter Tahuna.
The 3rds take the moral victory of only losing one half, and training this week promises to feature absolutely no mention of the game whatsoever... Man of the Match – Binh for taking control up the front of the paddock!
Match report by Rhys (Temu Stu)
4th XI 3 - 2 Nelson Suburbs
Location:
Goals: Gabe, Brad (2)
Match MVP: Jed
I expected a response from last week and I got one. Not exactly the one I thought. So after a team talk about accountability, playing within our skill level and playing our game with a smile, we kicked off. What an awesome start 1-0 down after 15 mins....never mind we pulled it back to 1-1, 10 mins later....I think Brad form a corner (lovin the aerial dominance on corners at both ends).
But we shipped another just before half time 2-1 down at the break. We were playing well so I just said keep cool and keep playing our own game. This we did, and within 20 mins we put another 2 past them, 3-2 up. (Gabe and Brad). We were so dominant and Rollo hit the post twice. Then with 15 to go Athletico woke up and started pressing 5 up front (my kind of tactics). I countered by matching them man to man (so lucky to have a team that reacts so quickly) and we kept them out.
So many outstanding performances, Brad n Luke pressing home their height advantage on set pieces, Mike filling in at center back, Kyle, Gabe n Josh running the midfield, Jed linking the mids and strikers and our strike force of Adam n Ryan. Not forgetting Killdozer at left back and super bench boost from Rollo and Zack (multi-purpose pocket knife human). Take away's from that game. We didn't get rattled after going a goal down.... twice, team spirit was awesome and Iggy..... caught every cross, got injured and shook it off after a brief rest and was awesome on 1 on 1s.
So we have achieved what we set out to do, finish in the top half of the table before the split. Now it's time to step up a gear and win.........everything.....no pressure. Man of the match, Jed for tireless work linking the mids and strikers.
Golden Boot Adam Crichton 7, Ryan Frost Hornell 5, Keris Lilo 4, Bradley Jessop 3, Reuben Pollock 3, Josh Munro 2, Gabe Barr 2, Mike Jessop 1, Jed Shackleton 1, Zach 1
See you all at training
Match report by Cole
TFC Womens XI 0 - 1 Golden Bay Shield Maidens
Location: Tahunanui S2
Goals:
Match MVP: Alysha M
The momentum continues!
After an awesome loss (yes, loss!) of 1-0 to the top-of-the-table Richmond Foxes last weekend, the ladies returned to the pitch to take on the Golden Bay Shield Maidens, who currently sit second on the table.
We went in with our heads held high and the same mindset as last weekend: keep them out! And that’s exactly what we did… for a while, at least.
With Emily and Hannah leading the defence, Golden Bay couldn’t find either the keeper or the back of the net in the first half. Not to say they didn’t try though—a sure goal was saved by… no, not our keeper Taylah… Hannah! (Glad she didn’t use her hands this time!)
We had some amazing runs down the left-hand side, led by Sophie and Alysha, with some close shots and dangerous crosses, but we just couldn’t quite find the back of the net ourselves.
The entire match was a battle, with both teams pushing for a goal but neither able to break the deadlock. Luck finally came for the Maidens in the final 10 minutes when their attacker unleashed a long-range shot, perfectly placing it over our keeper and into the top corner. Unfortunately, our ladies couldn’t find an equaliser before the final whistle, with the game ending 1-0.
Sure, we lost, but it was a massive improvement from our Round 1 game, so we have to be happy with that!
Player of the Match was a tough decision, as every single player seemed deserving after such a hard-fought performance. In the end, it went to Alysha M for her dominance down the left-hand side of the pitch and her awesome runs and plays down the wing. Well deserved!
Match report by 2ic Coach Ruby
TFC Masters 1 - 2 Suburbs Masters Legends
Location: Saxton Fields
Goals: Kev
Match MVP: Ollie
In the far corner field of Saxton our team arrived and dressed ready to take on the Suburbs legends. It’s tricky putting your socks on in the mud, but with some effort it happened. Ben washes and dries his at home. It means they’re not so elasticated and he dressed his feet in blue with ease. Good thinking Ben.
A big match up happened before the whistle blew. A game of papers, scissors, stone, with the loser reffing the first half. Gwyn’s scissors struck a rock so he donned the official’s shirt. The netball tannoy advised, 2 minutes to play, so we took to the field… Suburbs started at a canter. Our back line started like Scotland. Within seconds Ollie was dashing out of the 18-yard box, got nothing and Cam had to clear the resultant strike away from goal.
Fortunately, Paddy did what Paddy does and countered down the wing. He broke into their box, causing chaos. Suburbs clipped it away – anywhere will do! But unfortunately for them the clearance landed at the feet of Kev, and like a pre-tournament McTominay he struck a flier into the top corner of their goal from afar.
Suburbs managed a few balls over the top to star man number 9, but his control and shots were off today so it was Tahuna who looked more likely to get a second. Paddy got through one-on-one; Eddie stole through too and then Diego had a classic whipped shot from the corner of the box, which just flashed wide of their post. Suburbs pressed as half time neared. Unfortunately, they sneaked in a headed corner and shortly after Ollie delivered a good save to stop a second squeezing in. We headed into the break 1-1 quite encouraged.
It was a beautiful half of refereeing by Gwyn too – fair play throughout. One of our most creative forays was a cross over to Diego, who rattled the left goal post. It was probably for the best it didn’t go in, as the ref had blown for offside. Ollie didn’t let his concentration drop. When Suburbs got the ball into the box, he was seen charging them down Martinez style. I don’t what he had in his pie before kick-off but that must be part of his pre match routine going forward.
But in this game our achilles heel was corners. Yet another soft-headed corner goal was conceded to put Suburbs up 2-1. Everyone was thoroughly wound up now… As the full-time whistle neared Kev switched the team around and put the fliers on the wings. Thomas set a nice run up the wing for me, and I cut it back to the middle. I’m not entirely sure who took the shot, but it was put over the top when it could have been an equaliser. In the last act Cunny did a Messi style dribble run on the right, keeper palming it away with our rushing forwards just missing the chance to cash in. It was a hard-fought loss… If we can shore up our corners, we’d be on to a winner…
Match Report by Pete B
Comments